Letting go

...

Just wrote an email to the recruter, asking for feedback, and trying to be polite for him "letting me know".
Below his polite formula to let me know I hadn't made it, he suggested I got in contact with the business department, to establish a commercialisation strategy for my work. Ehm. I would have been surprised to see them turn down an opportunity to make some hard cash. They do not seem too concerned about the fact that I do not get any kind of incentive to do that, other than the usual kick to see my research moving forward. However, adrenaline rushes do not put bread on the table, neither do they pay the rent.

So I had to write it. Telling him I'm "keen to see my work move forward" but that I might not be able to be there myself to see that happening. I feel awful for writing that. It's like giving the baby away to a stranger, and walking away without looking back. How silly can a girl be, crying in front of her PC at the prospect of seeing her work slip away from her hands, to those of less concerned people. Four years to defend a project that didn't have much for itself, to end up giving away a potentially very successfull piece of work.

It just feels like a bloody failure.