Back on track?

As the weeks went by, the work intensified, the demands from "management" as well. With a stroke of 3 meetings a week, difficult to lose the momentum. Waking up, walking through the lovely park, down the lovely main road, to the smelly hospital ward. Getting in my lonely lab, putting the facemask on, without any break to check mails or else. Soaking in solvents for a mere 6 or 8 hours, hoping that this time, the result would be conclusive, not so much for my sake, but just to see a pleased look on Vieux Sage's face.

Just after gathering the samples on their trays, walking down the corridor, the stairs, the hands supporting the soft plastic rack, to get to the lovely uni building, which must be located in the cuttest university of all [and yes, the power of Scotland is indeed indescriptible, I fall in love with the country and its inhabitants a bit more everyday, and strangely, I feel Scottish at heart, they must put something weird in their water to steel the heart of french girls like that]. Getting to the uni, it's a matter of tempering with the GC, hoping for a smooth run.

Eventually, I make it to the Vieux Sage office with the results, hoping that for once, he will be content with the results put before him. However, it's rarely the case, and the following day, I reset the experiment, only with a little twitch to it, hoping that this time will be the right time.

I havn't totally lost faith. Yet. I still crave the minute of the result, my mind running wild, while I extrapolate what will be the next step. It's only when the story of the Ph.D. resurfaces, when Superv 2 is brought back to my mind, intentionally or not, that I start questionning why I do this job. All I feel is saddness when I look back at the last months. I don't know the answer yet, and I guess that the outcome of the Japanese conference will be crucial on wether or not I will take any work I did then forward.

But for sure, I'm still holding tight to my bench, endlessly preparing bottles of solvent, thinking that the next experiment will be the one.

It took a little while to make the transition, but I think I'm almost there. As much as I stopped writing, probably to gather my thoughts on the work itself, and on how I view the overall situation, I think that we're back on track.

Did I say I'm getting married? :)

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